The Moment I Realized I Was Building a Business I Didn’t Actually Want
Why Building a Business You Love Means Knowing When to Stop
If you have ever felt like you were working hard at building a business you love, only to realize the business you built was not actually it, this episode is for you.
Why can’t the perfect clients just find me?
Have you ever found yourself saying that? I have.
In this week’s episode of Jama Pantel: Unfiltered, I’m getting honest about something that took me years to admit: I had been working incredibly hard at building a business I didn’t actually want. Not because the work was wrong. Not because the brand wasn’t solid. But because somewhere along the way, the business stopped feeling like mine.
When Explaining Your Value Becomes Exhausting
Fourteen years into portrait photography, I still love the work itself. The sessions, the images, the relationships, that part never went away.
What wore me out was everything around it.
Specifically, the endless cycle of explaining my pricing to clients who showed up expecting something different. Back in the film days, every client walked away with a physical product. That was just the industry standard. Now, most people come in expecting all their digitals, and when the reality doesn’t match that expectation, you end up having the same conversation over and over.
I’ve had clients screenshot their proofs directly from their gallery, post them on social media, and then tell me they didn’t like any of them.
That is not a pricing problem. That is a values mismatch.
And here’s what I finally had to accept: you cannot sell someone on your value if they’ve already decided it isn’t worth it. Spending energy trying to change that was slowly killing my love for the work.
The Diagnosis That Changed Everything
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, everything reordered itself almost immediately.
I remember sitting outside a venue I was scouting for my second portrait gala. Just sitting there. And I started crying — because my heart wasn’t in it anymore.
When you’re trading your time for money and something like a cancer diagnosis happens, it becomes very clear very fast what actually matters. I had been through something similar when my dad was diagnosed years earlier, and I poured myself into work then. It actually helped build the business. But my body started turning on me — a combination of turning 40, hormonal shifts I didn’t fully understand yet, and years of giving out more than I was taking in.
By the time my mom was diagnosed, I was done chasing.
I want to pour into people who value what I do, who value themselves enough to want it, and who pour back into me.
Why Senior Portraits and Headshots Are Different
Here’s something I’ve never talked about on the podcast before.
When I was a senior in high school, I hated my own senior portrait experience. My best friend actually had to come to my house and force me to go. The real reason I didn’t want to be there? I knew I couldn’t afford any of the pictures. So what was the point?
That experience left a mark on me. And I think it’s exactly why working with seniors now lights me up the way it does.
I know what it feels like to show up to something like that and feel like you don’t belong in it. I want every senior I photograph to feel the complete opposite, like this session was made for them. Because you will never get that moment in time back.
I once had a senior and her mom fly in from out of state specifically to shoot in the bluebonnets, the same images I was published for in the New York Times. The mom was originally from Texas and convinced her daughter it was the thing to do. We had so much fun. They were both business owners, and understood the value. They came ready to be there.
That is what photography is supposed to feel like.
Headshots are the same energy, focused, purposeful, and booked by people who already know exactly why they need them. No explaining required.
How COVID Sparked a Business Pivot Toward Speaking
During COVID, I had real time for the first time in years. And I started putting myself out there in ways I never had before, videos, tutorials, speaking on photography education.
The more I talked about it, the more I realized it wasn’t just about photography. It was about business. It was about women who have so much to offer but tend to shy away from the spotlight.
Something lit up in me that had been quiet for a long time, and I started to understand what building a business you love actually looks like for me.
I’m an introvert by nature, which surprises people who’ve seen me speak. But I know what it feels like when someone says something that just lands. That makes you feel less alone. That’s what this podcast is. That’s what speaking is for me.
Build Slowly Toward a Business You Love
So here’s where I am right now.
I’ve built landing pages for senior portraits and headshots. I’m working on one for speaking. I know what I want the business to look like.
What I haven’t figured out yet is the magic answer for how the right people find you, without the hustle, without performing on social media, without chasing. And honestly? I think that’s a question a lot of us are sitting with right now.
But here’s what I do know:
I would rather build slowly toward the right thing than sprint toward the wrong one. And I’m a marathon runner, not a sprinter.
Realizing you’ve been building the wrong thing isn’t a failure. It’s the most important information you can gather about yourself. Because now you know. And knowing lets you build differently.
Listen to This Episode
If this resonated or if you’ve ever felt like you were building something that looked right on paper but felt wrong in your body, you are not the only one. Building a business you love starts with being honest about what is draining you.
Listen to this episode of Jama Pantel: Unfiltered
Keep Listening
If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode yet, start there — it connects directly to this one: What Scarcity Does to Your Brain Even After You’re Not Struggling Anymore
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